Blog, Diary, Uncategorized

I’ll think about it…


I am suffering from over thinking and it’s driving me crazy. This is the worse symptom of anxiety, it is exhausting, distressing and expensive!

The voice in my head doesn’t listen when I tell it to shut up. I make a decision but then the voice doesn’t like it so I make another and another. I am so tired. The thinking is wearing me out. I am jealous of people who enjoy a good drink or ten.

I think they just made medical marijuana legal here, I think I’ll ask the doc for a prescription because he won’t give me anymore Diazepam. He said I can become addicted. Hmm.. he has given me three prescriptions in a year, for SEVEN pills each time. My last appointment turned into a bargaining session, I asked for 12 he said I could have seven, I pleaded for ten he said I could have nine, I said ‘Oh can’t you just give me 12?’ He gave me seven. I am so shit at bartering and the only thing I’m addicted to is hope.

I need another holiday, I was meant to go to Bulgaria last Tuesday but I felt poorly so didn’t make my flight.  Those £30 Easy Jet deals are exciting when booking but when it comes to getting up at 4.30am for the airport taxi it becomes a waste of £30. Plus the fucking bag fee, so £60. But I saved a fiver on the seat selection, I’m not that daft. 😄 Oh and the taxi to the airport plus expenses in Bulgaria, wow, I saved loads by not going, bargain!

I am waiting for the TUI Goa flights deals to drop. I need some sun, then I will go to Bulgaria. Or maybe…OR…STOP. JUST STOP!


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