‘The Fear’

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I’m sitting at my desk staring out through the big glass doors that separate me from the street. It’s raining and I’m wearing cloth shoes, soggy feet are imminent.  I yearn for brighter climes. I will be able to go soon! Well, in theory I can go but my mind is playing hard ball with my heart. I have been struck down by ‘The Fear’.

I’m scared of everything. From my journey to work to getting on a plane. I have been on hundreds of planes and I never had any bad experiences. (Except that time an Air New Zealand flight attendant pelted me on the head with a crusty bread roll) But now I have two specific death scenes in my head whenever I think of flying.  A slow and painful one ( if the plane crash lands on water and sinks slowly) or a really fucking horrifying fast and explosive one, I mean a  Jihadi could be sat next to me with a bomb up his bum.

My fear is not just about flying. I shy away from people in the street, eyeing them nervously. I actually don’t even have to leave the house to be brought down by The Fear, The slam of a car door outside gives me palpitations. I am not in a good place. I tell myself the only way to overcome the fear is to get out there and face it. Pick a place I like, book a ticket, a few nights accommodation and just go.

So… after a few weeks searching the internet for the best flights deals I have reduced my choices to two options, Mexico – Belize – Caye Caulker and back ( Hopefully) Or Bulgaria, which I know well and love dearly, I could go up into the Pirin Mountains and  explore the three lakes, Bansko and Smolyan. http://bulgariawalking.com/p134-Pirin-Mountains-guided-and-self-guided-hiking-and-walking-holidays-in-Bulgaria. Ah yes, beautiful safe Bulgaria! Going somewhere I know and feel safe in really reduces the fear factor, plus it’s really cheap. I can rent a stunning apartment for two weeks for around £215. These look nice: http://www.booking.com/hotel/bg/pirin-golf-apartments. Surely after time spent out in the pure, fresh mountain air, walking some stunning trails and pampering in the spa I am sure to feel better! My plan is to exercise and explore during the day and write in the evening. Sounding good, sounding Good!

I would then move on to a few nights in my favourite hotel on the coast http://www.thecliff-obzorbay.com/ I love this place, it is just dreamy. The views from the hotel are food for the soul, it is the most beautiful, tranquil and relaxing hotel and holiday location I ever found. The hotel is stunning, situated on the cliff leading out of Obzor village, surrounded by green fields and deep blue sea. There is a winding staircase made out of driftwood that takes you down through the forest to a gorgeous empty beach with rolling waves and soft, golden sand. Heaven on earth. Add to this the minuscule cost for such luxury (currently £25 a night on booking.com) and I am convinced I must return, pronto!

But the Mexico idea nips at me. Thomson currently has a flight only Manchester – Cancun on August 25th for three weeks, http://flights.thomson.co.uk/ for £319.98. I am tempted by this because I love Mexico and I like the Dreamliner planes. They are really lovely, spacious and new with pretty colour changing mood lighting, I’ve been on one and I felt very safe. Plus, it’s a cheap deal, not as cheap as it was three days ago, then it was only £251.00 but dithering has a cost.

If I fly to Cancun I can laze about for a few days getting a tan so I won’t stand out as fresh meat for any potential scammers, chancers, wide boys or psychotic murders when I hit the road and make my way to Belize.  I would travel by bus to  Chetumal, cross the border into Belize and take a taxi boat to Caye Caulker, in all I think I would be looking at around 8.5 hours trip Mexico to Caye Caulker.

Yes, I like the idea of that, a mini adventure without too much risk. Hell yeah, it will be fab and much more adventurous than the safe haven of beautiful Bulgaria. I can do it, I can. I can go to Mexico and Belize!

But that means a 10 hour flight….Uh oh…

2 thoughts on “‘The Fear’

  1. Do it! Let’s keep in touch. Love Dawn X

    Like

    1. Definitely will do Dawn, I am so excited for you and your amazing journey ahead! I hope I manage to get back out there too! X

      Like

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